Making way...

Monday I got a swift kick to the balls. Okay maybe not so literally. I apologize for my crude humor, I just don't know how better to describe it.

In a single day my mom, fiance, hairdresser and reception center all managed to tell me I suck at wedding planning. Okay not really. In a matter of words they said I'd better hop on the wedding train or it's gonna leave town without me.

I've been slacking.

I hate making big decisions. It takes a while for me to feel good about something. And in this case, with a wedding right around the corner, time is not something I can barter with. I need to start making decisions. And quick.

But instead of solidifying, plotting and planning, I avoid it altogether. Really, I do. The Captain had to give it to me straight. "Shan," he said sternly. "You need to put the chairs away and lay off the blogging until you've got a better hold on the wedding."

What a kick to the balls. No more blogging?? :'(

Okay, okay it's true. With the time I spend blogging each week I really could make a dent in my wedding to-do list. But instead, I sit here writing yet another blog post. Shhh, don't tell The Captain.

I think I've been avoiding it. Decisions scare me, so I've buried myself in hobbies to hide from the pile of work I have looming about. I have 50-something blog posts and almost 20 chairs to sell, but I am without invitations, guest lists or a wedding dress. Somehow my priorities are all wrong...

So tomorrow I'm going to get to work. Without my spray paint and laptop to act as a security blanket life will be tough, but I've just got to buck up and do it. I'll dust off my planner and start establishing weekly goals to accomplish. Shoot maybe I'll post my weekly goals and then follow-up at the end of the week with how I did! :) I'll start making calls, decisions and appointments as painful as it is.

You know, planning a wedding around the holidays is REALLY distracting! It is really hard to focus on planning when finals are coming up, work parties need invitations and Christmas gifts need buying. But I guess these kinds of plans will never be convenient. I do like wedding planning, really I do, it's just difficult to be rushed. Ideally I'd like to make these decisions on my own time, when it's easiest for me. But that would require a pretty long engagement...

Anyways, I'd better get off to bed. Tonight's post was more thinking out loud than anything else.

That's how I work through things, I think, is talking or writing about it. That way my thoughts are organized and acknowledged instead of creeping around somewhere inside my head. If nothing else, this is a written promise to myself that I'll start making way on the wedding. And if blogging has to go in order to make way for that promise, I guess it will.

Sigh...